Things My Dad Never Said

My dad never sat down on the end of my bed and explained to me that it was nasty, disgusting, and wrong to have sex with another man. There’s something inside of me that tells me everything about that is just something I shouldn’t do or ever want to do, it makes me shiver just to think about me doing this and I am disgusted at every level at the whole idea of me with another man. I don’t give a damn if another man wants to do that to another man, it’s just not for me.

Also, I seem to have an almost heart-stopping, overwhelming reaction when I see certain body types of females. And I’m not talking about overdressed and way too much skin. Don’t get me wrong I’m a little disgusted when guys drool over females and that’s not what I’m trying to say.

These reactions are such extreme things but I can’t imagine or remember any experience in my life that would affect me that strongly so my logical side says it must be coming from my genes, something that was pre-programmed into me perhaps to make sure that the species of humans would continue. Not only the survival of the fittest but we must multiply. That makes sense, well at least to me. 

When I first started thinking about this I was told there are only five to seven sets of genes that make the difference between men and women. I just looked it up and now apparently there are thousands. 

The whole idea of our genes is to split apart and take a little from her and a little from him and put them together in a new way and see what happens. Basically, in order to be what we consider male a large presence of the male and female genes need to be thrown one way, to be what we consider female they need to be thrown the other way. 

I would imagine back Millennia ago that it was very important for us to have both The Hunter and The Gatherer to have a strong and productive family unit or tribe. The perfect relationship for those times but now that’s not as important. Nowadays many people have what I call confused genes which I believe is called non-binary.

Imagine having a female body and thinking that men are, for lack of a better word, disgusting. Well, that’s probably easy for some of us, LOL. So imagine being a man and thinking that women are disgusting and men are attractive. Growing up in this world that thinks there are only two genders and they think how could anybody think differently than them. 

Because of my incredibly strong genetic drive, I can see why they think that way but because of my life experiences I know they’re wrong. To me, that’s the difference between nature and nurture. Nature gives you a strong Foundation and nurture helps you build the house. It is extremely hard to build a roundhouse on a square Foundation. You can try but eventually, the house will fall down and you will have to rebuild.

It’s unique to each human

Growing up in a world that thinks your internal programming will match your body type would be very confusing and tough on your soul in every way. If everything in your body is telling you that this is right for you but you are being told by the world everything you are thinking is wrong and different, you would take it as if there is something wrong with you, especially when your body is doing everything that your genes are telling it to do. 

Our genetic settings are set so hard in our bodies that we can’t be ‘groomed’ to think differently. A kid can’t be made to believe that they want what their genes tell them they don’t want. No matter how their genes are set they will eventually settle into who they are. At worst being tolerant of others and their differences might make them a little more experimental as they’re growing up but it will not change their settings. Think of some of the stories about the extremes people have gone to live out what their genes are telling them to do. 

Without knowing it, as a kid, I was watching my grandma go through this and now that I think back on it I am amazed at what she did to keep it hidden.

We need to stop thinking that just because for some of us this male or female feeling is such an incredibly strong emotion inside of us that it must be the same for everybody, I hope that nowadays we all know that’s not true. Explaining to our kids that there are people out there that are different from ourselves is not a bad thing and it will never make them into something they are not. 

Stop thinking that somehow gay and lesbian people are trying to make our kids into more gay and lesbian people.

It doesn’t work that way.

All they’re saying is that if your body is telling you something different from what the world is telling you, you need to know that you are not crazy and it’s not bad or wrong.

It’s okay to explore but at the end of the day, be who you are.

We will still love you.

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